Vala's Mission Report
by Oldlibrn
Summary: After Momento Mori Vala writes her first mission report to Mitchell
1. Chapter 1

_**Takes place after Memento Mori. I always thought that episode needed an epilogue. I started to write one and it took off to some sort of alternate reality that only exists in my tiny brain**_

_**I want to warn you that most of this story is Mitchell reading Vala's mission report out loud.**_

Dr. Lam, flanked by two blonde nurses, stood in front of the elevator. One of the nurses had a wheelchair; the other carried a large red Cordura nylon bag with the words Emergency Aid stenciled in white on the sides. When the doors opened Daniel Jackson strode out carry Vala in his arms. She was semi-conscious; her arms were around his neck with her head leaning against his shoulder. Behind him were Teal'c, Sam and Mitchell.

"Bring her to the infirmary please, Dr. Jackson."

The nurses turned, walking back down the hall right after Daniel. The rest of SG-1 headed towards the infirmary behind them. Mitchell was the last out and as he walked past Dr. Lam their hands brushed together seemingly by accident. Mitchell followed his friends with a wide smile, a Vala smile, on his face. Dr. Lam allowed herself a small smile, one that barely raised the corners of her mouth. The smile was accompanied by a slight softening in her eyes.

Walking through the door Daniel waved away the orderly who had reached out to take Vala. With a smile he assured the man. "That's okay. I've got her." His smile got brighter as he said the words. "Where do you want her?"

Suddenly Dr. Lam was next to him. "Over here, please. Just put her down on the bed."

Daniel did as he was told but when her body touched the bed Vala held on to his neck, refusing to let go. She whimpered his name. He kissed her temple and gently removed her arms sliding her body onto the bed.

"Dr. Jackson. You're going to have to leave now. I need to check her over. She looks fine physically, maybe a little tired. But I'm concerned about the memory loss and any trauma she might have suffered while she was held by the Trust. I'll let you know when I have more information for you."

As if he didn't hear her Daniel stood still and continued to smile at Vala. She was awake and returned his smile. Dr. Lam put her hand on his shoulder and gently turned him to face her.

"You'll be the first person I call. Trust me Dr. Jackson. I promise I'll take care of her."

"Okay, Dr. Lam." Nodding at the doctor he walked over to Vala. He put his palm against her cheek. "I'll see you as soon as they finish. Okay?"

Vala smiled and nodded. She was so quiet. Daniel wished he would hear her crack at least one joke before he left her but she remained silent.

"I'll be in the Commissary, waiting to hear from you."

As Daniel headed towards the Commissary Dr. McKenzie came out of his office. "Dr. Jackson? Can I talk to you for a minute? Please? It's about Vala."

Daniel hesitated. He detested the man but at the mention of Vala's name he agreed to talk.

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Daniel joined the rest of SG-1 at their table after getting a cup of coffee. He smiled but looked worried. Sam spoke first.

"Daniel, she'll be fine. Dr. Lam's taking care of her."

Sam had to lean in close to hear Daniel's mumbled words. "I almost lost her, Sam. It's my fault. I wasn't able to protect her. Just like Sha're."

Sam looked angry. She knew what Vala would say about that, because Sam knew how she would feel if she was in Vala's position.

"That's crap, Daniel."

Daniel's head jerked up and he gave Sam a shocked look.

"It's nothing like Sha're! Vala doesn't want or need your protection. She's a fully functioning adult Daniel. She loves you and wants you to love her. But she's capable of taking care of herself. She's been doing it for a long time and she's good at it. So suck it up Daniel. You didn't lose her. She's right here."

One of the nurses who'd been with Dr. Lam at the elevator came in and after getting herself a cup of coffee walked over to Daniel. "Dr. Jackson? Ms Mal Duran is ready to be released. Dr. Lam asked if you would be willing to escort her to her quarters."

Daniel jumped up smiling. "Bye, guys. Catch ya later."

As Daniel walked quickly towards the door Mitchell and Sam started to laugh.

"I haven't seen him that happy in years."

"Indeed, Samantha Carter."

The three friends smiled and exchanged knowing looks.

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Outside of the Infirmary Dr. McKenzie was laying in wait for Daniel. Without physically pushing the man aside Daniel wasn't going to be able to walk through the door.

"Yes, Dr. McKenzie?"

"I just wanted to remind you of our conversation. I know you're aware of the possible consequences of your actions. I trust you'll do the right thing." The only way to describe his expression was a sneer.

Daniel glared pointedly until the man moved out of his way. Giving Dr. McKenzie a noncommittal grunt and a grudging nod Daniel opened the door.

He walked directly to the cubicle containing Vala's bed. He was pleased to see her sitting up on the side of her bed. Her hair was in pigtails and she was wearing blue scrubs. She was wearing the ubiquitous disposable hospital slippers on her feet. Vala was swinging her legs and smiled when she saw him. She had a set of pink scrubs on her lap and in reply to his questioning look Vala answered. "I wasn't sure if my stuff would be in my room, or even if I still had a room."

Daniel grinned saying. "You still have a room. I'm not sure about your clothes but I don't think anyone moved anything out of it."

Dr. Lam broke in. "She can sleep in those. I stole them from one of the pediatric nurses. I don't want her roaming the base until I give her a full workup tomorrow. So don't let her get dressed."

Vala looked too tired to make the expected comments. Nothing about Dr. Lam's thievery or Daniel not letting her put any clothes on. When she didn't say anything Daniel thought them for her, which made him smile even more.

"So, can she leave or not?"

"Get her out of here. She's good to go."

Daniel leaned over and picked up Vala.

"Let me get you a wheel chair."

"Don't bother. This is a lot easier than trying to maneuver a wheel chair through the halls."

Vala looked over her shoulder at Dr. Lam and waved. Tightening her arms around Daniel's neck she tucked her head into his shoulder and sighed contentedly. Unable to help herself Carolyn gave Vala a smile and a little wave in return and was still smiling when she returned to her office.

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When Daniel used his ID card to open Vala's room he expected her to ask when he'd added the access code to her room to his card. But again she didn't say a word. He walked over and sat her on her bed.

"Are you feeling okay? You're awfully quiet."

"Daniel, I am just so happy to be home that I can't be bothered to talk. That doesn't make a lot of sense; I think maybe Dr. Lam gave me happy drugs."

"Makes okay sense to me." He walked over to her desk and sat on the chair. It was as far away from her as he could get.

"Daniel, I'd really like to take a shower."

He stood up. "Of course, I understand. I'll check on your later."

"Would you mind waiting here? I won't take long I promise. I want a chance to talk a little before I try and go to sleep."

"No problem. I want to hear all about your other life."

Vala walked to the bathroom carrying her pink scrubs. As soon as the door shut Daniel started wandering around her room. There was a group of framed photographs on the top of her dresser. He picked them up and peered closely at each one. There was a group photo of SG-1 taken at O'Malley's next to one of Sam & Jack sitting on the dock at his cabin fishing poles in hand. A few inches to the left was a photo of Mitchell and his parents, standing in front of a cornfield. His father's arm around his shoulder and on his other side his mother was smiling and holding a pie out to the camera. The photo of Teal'c was unusual, Daniel wondered if he'd ever seen it. Teal'c was standing to the side of a gate on a planet where all you could only see was the blue sky and the grass under his feet. Teal'c was looking at something just out of the frame with a look that could only be described as longing as if he was watching something that he wanted. An unsure almost nervous look. Daniel had never seen so much emotion showing on Teal'c's face and was impressed that Vala had managed catch him unawares. With no reason to Daniel was sure it was Ishta who was the object of his attention. He'd have to ask Vala. Then again, Daniel thought, maybe not. He wasn't sure if he wanted his romantic illusion shattered. Daniel found himself looking for one of him. He was feeling disappointed until he saw a small fat item the size of a paperback laying down on the shelf. He picked it up and saw that it was a triptych where the frames on the right and left folded over the center picture. He opened it and smiled. The photo on the right was of the two of them arguing over a clay tablet obviously disagreeing over a translation. They both had looks of disgust on their faces. The photo on the right showed them looking straight ahead at the photographer with wide phony smiles plastered across their faces. Obviously they had been told to stand still and make nice. Daniel thought the center photo was beautiful. They appeared to have been unaware of the photographer and caught with their heads close together looking intently at an artifact. The two of them were lying down side by side on the stone floor of what looked like a temple ruin.. Vala legs from the knees up were in the air crossed at her ankles. Daniel couldn't tell what the object was but he was struck at how beautiful Vala looked. She had always looked beautiful to him though he rarely admitted it to anyone, even himself. But in this photo she was concentrating on the object she held with a look of wonder, a look that he shared. The look was the most intimate Daniel had ever seen caught on film. They weren't looking at each other but their expressions were mirror images and their shared passion jumped out at you. Daniel wished he could remember where they were when the picture was taken. The photographer had to have been Teal'c. Sam had given him a digital camera for Christmas and he was constantly taking candid pictures on their missions. Teal'c prided himself on those pictures he'd taken when his subjects didn't notice they were being photographed. Daniel wished he could see Teal'c's face if and when he saw Vala's picture of him. Tempted to slip the triple frame into his pocket he decided to resist the urge placing it back down.

Daniel heard the hairdryer start and realized that he hadn't noticed when the shower was turned off. He once again sat at her desk waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom. Vala came out barefoot, dressed in her pink scrubs with her black hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. Smiling at Daniel she thanked him for waiting and jumped into bed. She stuffed both pillows between her back and the headboard and sat up using her hands to pull her knees to her chest.

They talked non-stop for over an hour. Vala told him about Sol or Sal, Daniel didn't really catch which she was saying. She talked about what it was like to be a waitress in a diner. Daniel had worked in a small café when he was in college and they compared stories of customers, the crazy, the demanding, the silly and the sweet. They compared notes about trying to adjust to life with no memory of who you were. As Arrom Daniel was concerned that he wouldn't like the person he really was. Vala had similar thoughts after she took out the robbers. Everyone looked at her as if they no longer trusted her and her fears increased in the police station when they told her she was going to be held until the Air Force came for her.

Daniel told her all that they knew about the Trust's involvement and they speculated on what Athena'd been looking for. He told her about their attempts to track her, to find her and bring her back to SGC. Daniel almost said 'bring you home to me'. It wasn't clear to him exactly how much detail she remembered from her life at SGC and he didn't want to pressure her or make her nervous by anything he said.

After the first few minutes Vala began to act more like her 'old self'. When she described a funny run-in with an extremely dissatisfied customer who kept returning his food Vala became so animated that he had trouble stopping laughing. Vala was acting out both parts of the exchange. One moment she was playing the crazy demanding customer then next the plucky but beautiful 'food service worker' using air quotes around her description. Soon she was making faces at Daniel and gently teasing him.

There was a lull in the conversation and Vala made an audible sigh. Daniel looked at her in sudden concern.

"Are you tired? Do you want to try and sleep?"

"That's probably not a bad idea. I'll go brush my teeth." Vala got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

"I'll wait and tuck you into bed."

Giving Daniel a puzzled smile Vala replied. "Okay. Deal."

Somewhere in the middle of their talkfest he'd taken off his boots, he picked them up and put them by the door before walking to her bed. Waiting for her to return Daniel fluffed the pillows and rearranged them on her bed. He pulled back the covers and stood by the bed waiting for her to return. Daniel's mind was racing with everything he wanted to say. He didn't plan on saying it now, he'd decided to wait and talk to her in the morning.

Vala bounced out of the bathroom and suddenly she was under the covers smiling up at Daniel. She had taken her hair out of the pony tail and it hung free around her face. He leaned towards her and put his hand on her cheek. Losing all self-control he couldn't stop himself. The words just tumbled out of his mouth and he couldn't stop them. He was telling her how much he'd missed her, how scared he'd been when she was gone, how scared he'd been the last time she'd disappeared, how sorry he was that she'd been lost, how much he wanted her home, needed her home with him. Daniel continued to talk almost frantically repeating the same words. By this time he was kneeling on the floor with her face still cupped in his hand. Vala didn't speak, she didn't try and reassure him that everything was fine, she just smiled and looked into his eyes. Then she spoke "I think you can shut up now darling."

"My Vala". With that Daniel kissed her and soon without conscious thought by either of them he was in the bed with Vala snuggling together under the covers. Vala was still aware enough to take off his glasses and drop them onto the floor but soon she wasn't aware of anything except Daniel's mouth. All his good intentions of giving her space, waiting until tomorrow to talk, not pressuring her, discussing her condition with Dr. Lam before pouring out his pent up feelings and so on had been pushed out of his mind. Pretty much all rational thought had been pushed out of both their minds leaving only love and passion.

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"Sam? Can I talk to you? Please?"

"Of course, Vala. Come on in." Sam gestured with her hand to the chair at her desk in the corner of the lab."

"I'll just stand here, if you don't mind."

Sam looked closely at Vala, she hadn't really seen her since Daniel carried her out of the warehouse. She was glad to see that she looked well.

"You look rested. Did you sleep well last night?"

In shock, Sam saw Vala blush. Thinking to herself 'what the hell is going on' she had an epiphany. Daniel had finally faced the truth and told Vala how he felt. And maybe even shown her if Vala's blush and expression were any indication.

"You two did the deed, didn't you? Boy, Daniel didn't waste anytime did he?" Sam was beaming at Vala who gave Sam one of her megawatt smiles.

"Yes, I think we did! Are you upset?"

"Why would I be upset, Vala?"

"Daniel's your friend, you must want someone better for him. I'm not exactly a prize catch."

Sam put her arms around Vala and gave her a hug. "You love him and he loves you. So who could possibly be better for him?"

Giving her another hug Sam told her. "I'm really happy for you both. Really. So dish!"

"It was amazing. Last night we …"

"Whoa, not too many details. He is like a brother to me." Sam laughed at Vala's look of shock.

"No, No. I wasn't going to give you a play-by-play commentary of our sexual exploits. I was going to tell you about last night. I'd never tell Daniel but it was actually the best part of the night. We talked for hours, we made each other laugh, I never felt so at home in my life. And as we talked I realized that he did love me, I had no doubts about it. So the whole kissing yada yada thing didn't surprise me. That's not really true, I was surprised that he moved so quickly a lot quicker than I expected."

"Maybe he was making up for lost time. I think your kidnapping made him face how he really felt about you." Sam had let go of Vala who'd gone ahead and sat down in the desk chair.

"Have you seen him yet this morning? How did you leave things? Did you arrange to meet somewhere?"

"Vala? What's going on?"

"Well, we didn't exactly talk, afterwards I mean."

Sam stared at Vala waiting to hear details.

"Okay. He didn't say anything about today. He left as soon as I fell asleep, or at least until he thought I was asleep. I don't sleep well on the best of nights and I certainly couldn't sleep on the best night of my life!"

"What do you mean he left? He got out of bed and walked out the door? Without saying anything? Did he leave a note?"

"No, yes, well sort of."

"Which is it?"

"Yes he did leave and no he didn't say anything or leave a note. But I think he wanted me to rest. Dr. Lam said he should make sure I took it easy."

Sam gave her a funny look.

"It's okay Sam. He loves me. Everything will be fine."

"He didn't say anything?"

"He was sort of talking to himself while he got dressed. I was actually drifting off a little so I'm not all that clear on what he was saying."

Sam was standing with her arms folded and her right foot taping waiting for Vala to explain what she meant.

"Something about not pressuring me, memory loss, being sensitive, amnesia, emotional trauma, selfish. But those words are out of context, I'm sure he'll explain when I see him."

"He'd better. I'll trust your instincts. The briefing starts in ten minutes. Do you want something to eat? You sort of missed breakfast, sleepyhead." While she spoke Sam was rooting around in a file drawer. Crying "Eureka" she presented Vala with a power bar, not just any power bar, Vala's favorite power bar. She grabbed it and barely tore the wrapper off before starting to devour it. Washing it down with a cup of coffee from Sam's lab coffee maker Vala was ready to go in five minutes.

Smiling at each other the two women walked out of the lab headed for the Briefing Room. Vala seemed so calm almost serene Sam thought that she might just be more excited than Vala, which felt odd. But she shrugged it off pleased to see Vala so happy and looking forward to seeing a similar look on Daniel's face.

Only General Landry was in the room when they arrived. He smiled at Vala and welcomed her back and told her he hoped she was feeling okay. Vala smiled broadly and said she was great! Landry was pleased to see her so chipper, Carolyn had been a little worried about her ability to bounce back once again from a traumatic experience. She knew Vala was the definition of resilience, but she feared that one time would be just one too many. Landry noticed that Sam seemed exceptionally cheerful today. Not that she wasn't usually cheerful, but he felt an undercurrent of what he thought of as exuberance.

Both women turned their heads when they heard voices in the hall, but sighed together when Mitchell and Teal'c walked in. Both said hello to Vala, welcomed her back to SGC and expressed their hope that she felt well. Vala smiled and thanked them for their concern. She kept looking towards the door obviously waiting. Everyone knew she was waiting for Daniel, which wasn't unusual, but they all picked up on a difference today. She seemed more self-possessed. More than her usual almost comic air of supreme self-confidence.

Daniel entered the room and Sam exchanged a smile with Vala. Sam wasn't sure what she expected from Daniel but she never expected what happened. Daniel made no eye contact with Vala. He gave a quiet smile as a greeting to Landry and the rest of SG-1 including her and then started writing in a notebook on the table in front of him. Mitchell started the briefing explaining to Landry that SG-1 had no upcoming mission. They were waiting for information from a Tok'ra operative about reports of the discovery of a tablet that referred to the Ancients on a planet never occupied by the Goa'uld. Contact was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Landry dismissed the team telling them they were on leave for two days starting now. Smiling at them all he left the room.

"Hey Teal'c. Do ya wanta continue our sparring session? I promise I'll go easy on you." Looking at Teal'c's face Mitchell started to laugh. After Teal'c nodded in response to the question they stood up and walked towards the door.

"Vala? How about joining us? Our sessions are a lot less lively without you." He didn't hear her say anything as he left the room but it occurred to him that she might be tired after her ordeal. "Okay then. We'll catch you later."

Daniel stood up and gathered his notebook and some loose papers and walked quickly out the door without saying a word or looking at anyone.

Vala hadn't made a sound or moved a muscle since Daniel had sat down patently ignoring her. Once all of the men had left she made a sound, a small choking sound as if she couldn't breathe right. She had lost all color in her face and her hands were trembling as she folded them on the table top. Sam knew that if Dr. Lam saw her this way she'd whisk Vala off to a bed in the Infirmary before Vala could say a word. Sam reached over and put her hand over Vala's and applied pressure, Vala shook her head in disbelief and then turned to Sam. Seeing the pain in Sam's face Vala smiled.

"I'm fine Sam. Its okay, I'm okay. There are worse things that can happen to a person." Pulling her hands out from beneath Sam's Vala patted the other woman's hand as if she was comforting her. "Though at the moment I'm not exactly sure what that could be."

Shaking her head once more as if trying to clear her mind Vala stood up, wiped her hands on her pants and walked out. Sam followed her and took her by the hand.

"We're going to my lab. Now!" Vala was so passive that Sam easily pulled her along behind her.

They sat on stools around Sam's worktable. Vala had plastered a smile on her face and was sitting up ramrod straight. She'd been working on controlling her breathing and though shallow her breaths were even.

"What the F was that?"

"I must have misunderstood what happened. Talk about embarrassing!" Vala's forced attempt at an amused tone bordered on pathetic.

Sam leaned towards Vala. "You've got to talk to Daniel. Something's wrong, it was horrible watching him work so hard at ignoring you. I saw pain in his eyes …"

Vala opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted by Sam.

"Yes. Real pain. I can't imagine what's going on but …"

"What's going on is the usual sordid little tale. Boy meets girl, girl seduces boy, boy runs away in panic once he comes to his senses."

"No Vala. I don't believe it!"

"Why do you believe me? Isn't it more likely that I misunderstood the whole thing? I've been thinking about it and Daniel never said that he loved me. He said he missed me, he was afraid for me, he was sorry for what happened to me and even that he needed me. But that's not love, Sam. I frightened him off. I was too intense, too needy. I wanted to believe in the fairy tale. It's not fair to blame him Sam. Daniel's your friend. Hell, he's almost your brother. In these situations you don't take the side of the alien slut."

Sam sighed saying. "It's okay to cry. And it isn't a case of taking sides, no matter who's at fault; a man doesn't act that way. If you misinterpreted what happened he talks to you and straightens it out. Miscommunications about feelings and emotions aren't unusual but there's no excuse for how Daniel's acting. And it doesn't feel like Daniel. I'm not saying he doesn't always 'get' his effect on women but I think you have to find him and force him to talk." When Vala shook her head with a panicked look on her face Sam insisted. "You owe it to yourself if not to him. It's got to be better than this."

"Okay. I'll swallow what little pride I have and go to him." Standing up she straightened her shoulders and took a deep cleansing breath. She turned to Sam and told her. "If he doesn't love me, but he does need me, that's okay. If what he wants is casual sex that's okay, too. I can't refuse him anything, I never could. It's ridiculous but I have to admit I'll take anything he's willing to give me." Wiping away what might have been tear on her cheek she walked away.

"Vala …"

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Sam was sitting alone in the Commissary eating lunch. She'd been keeping an eye out for Vala and was glad to hear her voice coming from the hall. She was saying hello to everyone she passed asking about family, commiserating about games lost by someone's favorite sports teams, asking for a review of the food on today's menu, etc. Vala walked in with a huge smile, waved at friends at other tables, walked through the line and brought her full tray to Sam's table and sat. Sam could both see and feel the tension in Vala's body, her muscles were straining as she tried to keep her smile on her face and her voice from breaking.

Sam whispered. "What happened? What'd he say?"

Vala spoke in a normal tone. "Daniel went off-base, Sam. He's going to spend the next two days at a University Library somewhere in the Mid-West. He had to stop by his apartment and pack."

"Did he tell anyone? Did he say good-bye to the boys? I passed Mitchell on the way to the showers and he didn't mention it."

"Oh, he called Walter and had him clear it with Landry. The General said there was no problem. If he's really needed SGC can have Daniel beamed back."

Seeing the disturbed look on Sam's face Vala reassured her. "Its okay, Sam. I promise I'll talk to him as soon as he's back. I'm not ready to give up on him yet, or on us. Now, how about a girl's night in? My room, chick flicks, tons of chocolate, many quarts of Ben & Jerry's and at least one bottle of tequila."

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_**Earlier that morning**_

Daniel was in his office talking on the phone. His clothes were disheveled, his hair looked like John Sheppard's but not on purpose, his face was haggard and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Jack, it was horrible. I was horrible. I don't think I did the right thing. I could feel Sam's eyes boring in to me. I know she wanted to ask me what was going on."

"No, I don't know what Vala told her about last night. And no, I'm not going to describe anything to you, no lurid details, no low-down on alien sex. To which, may I remind you, you are no stranger yourself. Kynthia for one. And don't forget Laira. So extrapolate from your own experiences."

"Yes Jack."

"No I don't know."

"I'm not sure."

"Jack!"

"Jack!"

"I'm leaving for few days. I'll call you again. And may I say you've been incredibly unuseful! No wonder you're a lonely, friendless, bitter, old man."

Daniel laughed and smiled at the phone.

"Thanks for listening Jack. I know it wasn't easy for you. But you're my best friend and I had to talk to someone I trusted."

"Catch you later. Bye."

Daniel hung up the phone and immediately made another call.

"Walter? I need you to talk to General Landry for me."

Dr. McKenzie passed Daniel in the hall. "I hear you're going to be away for a few days. I think that's an excellent move Dr. Jackson."

Daniel wanted to deck the smug bastard but restrained himself while reserving the right to slug him on some future occasion.

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It was midnight and Vala was in her room, in her bed, in the dark but wide awake. Daniel had been expected back this evening but he hadn't shown up by eleven so she'd gone to bed. She heard a sound outside her door, then a soft knock and a voice, his voice, said. "Vala? Vala? Are you awake?"

Bracing herself she answered. "Please come in Daniel."

The door opened and she could just make out Daniel's silhouette by the hall light. He closed the door and called her name again. This time it was some strange cross between a question, a plea, an apology and an urgent demand. All she said was "My Daniel" and suddenly he was next to her bed, then kissing her and then in her bed. Vala relinquished all her pride and her self-respect. On Daniel's recommendation she'd been reading Shakespeare and now all she heard was a voice in her head "Love makes fools of us all".

This time she made no pretence of being asleep. Vala watched Daniel get out of bed and throw on his clothes. As he walked, or more accurately slinked, towards the door he turned back. Opening the door she could just make out his face in the light. With a look of agony he whispered "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." And closed the door behind him.

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"Did you see Daniel?"

"You could say that."

"Did you talk? What did he say?"

"Let's see now. When he came into my room last night he said my name and asked if he could come in. He said my name a few times more, even sort of screamed it once if memory serves, while he was there. Then as he slipped back out of the room he said … Now I want to get this right Sam. He said "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." And then, pouf! he was gone."

Sam looked horrified. They were sitting on the bed in Vala's room, Sam leaning against the headboard and Vala with her legs crossed Indian style. They'd eaten lunch in the Commissary with Teal'c and Mitchell who were going on and on about an upcoming movie based on a comic book which they insisted was a graphic novel. There were heated discussions about the casting, the director, the writer, debates about favorite villains and recaps of favorite story lines. Sam suggested she and Vala get some ice cream and take it back to Vala's room and she'd agreed.

"It's okay Sam. I was right. I was wrong about that first night." She laughed. "Doesn't that sound weird? I was right. I was wrong. English can be a funny language."

Sam looked closely at Vala. She did seem okay. Sam continued to listen to Vala's explanation of what must have happened, how she's misunderstood and frightened him off. Vala told Sam that she was happy to continue whatever type of relationship they were in. She considered herself a realist and could "live with half a loaf".

Vala almost convinced Sam that Daniel was the injured party. Almost. Sam still felt that he had handled the whole thing badly. And she wasn't convinced that Vala could have been so far off the mark about that first time. Vala had said that she knew Daniel loved her in return. Sam had trouble believing Vala was capable of deluding herself that much. Vala may have wanted it to be true but Sam thought it more likely she'd err the other way and not believe Daniel loved her no matter what he said or did.

Sam decided that as Vala's friend she would be happy for her as long as Vala insisted she was happy. But she reserved the right to change her mind.

As Daniel's friend Sam was unsure how to feel. Even if he was happy with the situation she wasn't sure if she should be happy for him. She had trouble believing that a strictly physical relationship with Vala would be acceptable to him. Sam wanted to run him down and force him to tell her what was going on. She wasn't sure what was preventing her. Jack was going to be at SGC next week and Sam decided she would wait and talk to Jack. Jack knew Daniel and Jack was a man. Sam hoped Jack would be able to provide some insight as both. For now Sam resolved to keep a very close watch on both of her friends.

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Two nights later, after two days of Daniel ignoring her and seemingly hiding from her, Vala heard his voice at the door. Once again it was late and she was in bed in the dark. And once again she told him to come in. And once again all he said was her name.

Later Vala faked being asleep. She couldn't face the idea of hearing Daniel apologize on his way out. But once again she'd made the wrong decision. Once again she hadn't thought it could be worse, but it was. As he got dressed Daniel started to talk to

himself. He was speaking softly and without getting closer Vala couldn't hear every word that he said. In order to hide her awake state she'd covered part of her face with a pillow which certainly didn't help. Daniel was apologizing to her, berating himself for his behavior, concerned about what someone would think of him, more apologies and expressions of disappointment about what he'd done, agonizing about other people's opinions, and more. She had suspected that, though not exactly drunk, Daniel had been drinking. Vala figured it was what the Tau'ri called Dutch courage. It made him brave enough to come to her and befuddled enough to freely babble his innermost thoughts.

Then he was gone and she was alone. Alone to think about what he'd said. Alone to think about what she was feeling. Alone to think about how much more she could take before she broke.

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Sam was starting to think about lunch when Vala came into her lab. By her expression Sam could tell that something serious had happened. And that Vala looked as if she'd made a decision.

"Did he visit you last night?"

"Yes. But don't be angry Sam. Daniel doesn't deserve it. He's not happy, I'm making him miserable, 'us' is making him miserable. You were right, this isn't the type of relationship he wants or needs. And I can't give him anything else, because he doesn't want anything else from me."

"Vala, are you sure? Maybe you should try and talk to him. Maybe …"

"It broke my heart Sam. As he was leaving he was talking to himself. Daniel is ashamed of me or at least of being with me. He's worried about his friend's opinions, he's disappointed with what he's doing, he's in agony about what other people will think. And he'd been drinking. The only reason he came to me was because he was drunk. Drunk enough to lose control and do something he thinks is wrong. I know what you're going to say Sam. He's a grown man and responsible for his own actions. But I feel guilty. I'm being selfish. I thought that I could settle for whatever part of him I can have, but I can't. I can't be responsible for making him feel that way. Daniel's unhappy and ashamed of himself; he thinks he's betrayed his friends, betrayed himself."

Sam was madly thinking what she could say to Vala, any solution she could offer, any comfort. But she came up empty.

"Sam don't worry. I'm fine. I spoke to Mitchell and I'm going to transfer to another SG team. I can't leave here. I'm too selfish to leave my home. But I can remove myself from constant contact with Daniel. I'll give him some breathing room. And you can help him find someone good enough for him. A nice, sweet normal girl. Maybe another archeologist."

"Good enough? What they hell does that mean? I'm not sure that I could live with hooking a nice normal girl up with an emotional basket case like Daniel Jackson."

"Thanks, Sam. I appreciate the thought. But I have to get to the briefing."

"What briefing? No one told me we were going on a mission."

"Not SG-1. Until my transfer goes through I'm still on SG-1 but SG-6 requested my help last week. They have a mission to a planet that I spent some time in a different life. But I still have close contacts and they think I might be able to access the quality of some intelligence they received. So I'm off. I'll be back in a few days. We can talk then."

"Okay, but I want to discuss that whole transfer thing with you."

"Fine, Sam. Please watch over Daniel for me. Keep him safe."

Vala kissed Sam on the cheek before walking out of her lab.

Sam couldn't wait until Jack got here. He had to help her figure out what was happening with her friends and what she could do. The better Vala felt the more depressed Sam felt.


	2. The Letter

_**Only two more chapters after this one.**_

Lights were flashing, alarms sounding. Same old, same old. 'Unscheduled off-world activation' came over the PA system.

Sam and Jack were in her office and headed for the Control Room where they joined General Landry at the window. Mitchell and Teal'c had been sparing in the gym and showed up with an unwilling Daniel in tow. Teal'c looked calm and cool while Mitchell had obviously been sweating. They'd stopped by Daniel's office after Mitchell told Teal'c that Daniel probably didn't even know that Vala was on the only team that was currently off-world. They had dragged him out of the room as he protested about leaving his work.

As soon as Jack and SG-1 were in the room Landry spoke. "It's SG-6. They're overdue."

Jack looked confused and asked. "Why the alarm? Is it an emergency? Are they coming in hot?"

"They made their last scheduled contact yesterday morning. Vala reported they'd completed the mission, which in her words was 'a bust'. The Intel was bad but she'd made arrangements with some reliable contacts to supply future information. They were scheduled to return immediately. Then in the evening we received a cryptic message from Lieutenant Nash. The gist of it was that they'd run into a little snafu and to expect them when they get here."

Now Daniel looked confused. "Vala? When did she go off-world? What mission?"

Sam gave Daniel what, at best, could only be described as a dirty look. He wasn't looking at her so he missed it, but Jack caught it and now it was his turn to look confused.

"Their IDC checks out sir. It's SG-6."

"Go ahead and open the iris, Walter."

Five men in black BDUs walked through the gate and down onto the ramp. The first one through was the team leader, one Captain Sears, a tall man with short blond hair, a square face and the look of career military. Anyone's mother would describe him as being 'full of himself'. He was followed by three Airmen and a Lieutenant. The Airmen looked like generic nineteen year olds, the cliché Red Shirts from Star Trek, with pleasant but slightly confused expressions. They looked at the Captain as if they weren't quite sure of how they felt about him. One of them, a redhead with a face full of freckles, had an expression that was bordering on contempt. The fifth man, a Lieutenant, was of average height with a slim build. He had black hair, cut a little longer than the others. His skin was pale, especially next to his dark hair, and his eyes were a dark, deep green. Typical Black Irish.

"Captain Sears, what's the status of your mission? And where's Miss Mal Duran?"

Looking upward at General Landry the man saluted and replied. "She'll be coming through in about two hours, sir."

As the Captain spoke the Lieutenant seemed to be searching for a particular face in the window. When he saw Jack he stopped and focused his attention on him, staring at Jack as if trying to send him a telepathic message. Jack was about to ask the guy what was going on when the lieutenant spoke. Ignoring Landry he directed his words to Jack.

"We left her behind, Sir."

Sam and Daniel looked at Jack checking for his reaction. Mitchell just looked confused. Jack's face showed no expression but Sam felt his body tense from two feet away. Teal'c, if possible, stood up even straighter. The Lieutenant didn't take his eyes off Jack until Mitchell yelled.

"Just who are you Lieutenant? And what the hell's going on here Sears?"

Turning to face Mitchell the man looked up and replied. "Lieutenant Paul Nash, Sir."

The Captain answered. "There's no problem Colonel Mitchell." He'd been looking at Nash with a puzzled expression. "She said that she had some loose ends to tie up. I'm sure she'll be here on schedule, Sir."

In a quiet voice, barely above a whisper, Jack said something to Mitchell who nodded in response.

"Captain, exactly why didn't the whole team stay until the mission was completed?"

"Miss Mal Duran insisted, Sir. I was told she was in charge of the mission. I was following her orders, Sir."

A snort of disgust came out of Nash's mouth followed by a comment in a low voice. "So, now she's in charge. That's convenient."

Landry spoke forcefully with a no-nonsense stern look. "Captain, Miss Mal Duran was in charge of the intelligence gathering portion of the mission, you however were in charge of security." Shaking his head he added. "Get your men to the Infirmary. I want you, Captain, to report to the Briefing Room as soon as you're cleared." Sears and his three men walked out the door leaving Nash behind.

"Permission to deliver Miss Mal Duran's paperwork per her request before I go, General?"

"Permission granted. Meet us in the Briefing Room."

Jack, Landry and SG-1 were sitting around the table when Nash entered. Swinging his pack down onto the table he pulled out three envelopes. Two of them were small, the size of greeting cards and the third held a regulation field report that would be used as the basis for the final official mission report. Nash handed one of the small envelopes to Sam saying. "She wanted you to have this Ma'am, to read later, in private" Sam took it and stuck it into one of the pockets in her pants. She noticed her name was written on it in Vala's handwriting.

Turning to Mitchell he gave him the two remaining envelopes. "She told me to give these to you, Colonel Mitchell. General Landry, she said the letter would explain why she wrote the report to the Colonel." Smiling he added. "She isn't exactly a stickler for military protocol, Sir."

"Teal'c, Sir. I hate to disobey the lady but I'm just too scared to give you …" Making air quotes he continued "a huge hug and a juicy kiss."

"Indeed, that is wise Lieutenant Nash."

Daniel asked "Don't you have anything for me?"

Nash continued to look at Teal'c and seemingly against his will he answered. "I think Ms Mal Duran asked Colonel Carter to pass along a message to Dr. Jackson."

Daniel looked uncertain as he stared at the man who was refusing to acknowledge his presence.

Mitchell had torn open his smaller envelope and was unfolding the sheets of paper when Landry ordered "Why don't you just read that out loud, son."

Nash had saluted and was heading out the door when he was stopped by Landry's voice. "Why don't you stay a minute Lieutenant? I'll let you know when you're dismissed."

"Yes Sir" Standing at attention he relaxed when Landry said. "At ease." Though his body was relaxed he had a nervous almost guilty look on his face when Mitchell started to read.

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Dearest Cameron, Colonel, Sir, Mitchell,

I decided that I would write my mission report to you. At least for the moment I'm still officially a member of SG-1 making you my commanding officer. Though don't let it go to your head, plowboy. Plus I know how much you love to read mission reports.

I'm not sure how much you know about my mission but I'll try and bring you up to speed. It'll help you make more sense out of my report.

SGC received some unconfirmed reports that the Ori had been turned back by the people on a sheltered little planet called Safe Haven. PK-007 to you guys. Imagine a planet as the hideout of the Hole in the Wall gang. It's a place of refuge for people who need to do what I think you call 'go off the grid'. A place to regroup, rest, divvy up spoils, etc. Mostly your everyday garden variety criminals, the usual suspects. Outlaw is an easy, though over simplified, way to label them.

It's not a secret location but security is very tight, extremely tight. You need a pass code and a DNA scan just to walk through the Gate. There you'll find yourself in a clearing completely exposed and surrounded by trees and small hills. There are people with guns hidden everywhere pointing at you. Even with the security code the final decision is in their hands. If they suspect you of being a danger to Safe Haven or just don't like how you look they are authorized to shoot you with no consequences. It's not a pretty system. But hey, it's worked for a long time.

So you can see why SG-6 needed my expertise to even get on the planet let alone have the contacts to confirm the Intel.

Don't tell Dan …

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Mitchell had stopped reading and looked at Daniel.

Landry told him to "Keep reading."

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Don't tell Daniel the truth, at least not right away. Everyone assumed that I gained the password from someone in my nefarious past, a perk of some evil, nasty, illegal behavior on my part. But the truth is that I had much more reliable access, safer than depending on my fellow thieves.

There's a permanent settlement, populated by the families and friends of regular visitors, those who no longer want to lead a criminal life but have no other place to go, people who are unsafe no other place in the universe and others with secrets they need to keep. These residents have special privileges, they have special codes they can give to friends which allow complete access to the planet and a guarantee they won't be shot by the greeting party. The code and DNA scan are linked to a database of their personal list of welcome guests.

I have two friends on Safe Haven, Robert and Phoebe, who run a tavern and small store. They've lived there for years. They aren't exactly typical outlaws. I know what you're thinking, what's "not exactly". Well, it's sort of a cross between beauty and the eye of the beholder and the winners get to write history. Robert and Phoebe are escaped political prisoners whose crimes were being intellectuals who valued and championed human rights. Not a very popular combination on their home world. They got away but they have to stay away if they want to protect the friends and family they left behind.

On second thought I think I'd prefer that everyone think I had to call in markers from all sorts of unwholesome dangerous brigands. So don't tell anyone my pathetic little secret, not even Daniel. I want to leave behind a trail of mystery.

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Jack interrupted "What does she mean by 'leave behind'?"

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I think that's plenty of background, darling. And please if you've kept poor Nash waiting while you read this let him go see Dr. Lam. By the way how are you and Carolyn do …?

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Mitchell skipped over the rest of the sentence and continued reading, while Landry gave him a questioning look.

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He was quite helpful and deserves to be commended for his contribution to the success of the mission. I'm afraid that Sears guy sucked.

Speaking of success, Jack should still be around. I want you to give him a message from me. Tell him that no matter how this ends up, no matter what happens, that I completed the mission and I got the whole team back safely, all of them. I'm proud of that and I'd like to think he'd be, too. But make sure you get him alone first before you give him my message.

Once you've read my mission report. My mission report! I have to admit I like the way that sounds. Once you've read it I trust you to clean it up and do a little judicious editing before you pass it along to Landry. There's no need to upset anyone unnecessarily. Nash can answer any questions you have, but take what he says with a grain of salt. He has an exaggerated sense of my importance.

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Everyone looked at Nash and was taken aback by the look on his face. The man seemed to be fighting back tears. When he realized they were looking at him he took a deep breath and looked straight forward not making eye contact with any of them.

Mitchell continued to read.

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All in all Cameron it's been a hell of a ride. Thanks. It felt good to be part of the 'band.' Now be a good boy and kiss Caro ….

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Mitchell quickly folded the papers in half saying. "That's it Sir"

The room was deathly quiet. Landry broke the silence. "Lieutenant Nash, go get checked out in the Infirmary, clean up and return here. And bring Sears with you."

"Well, that was a very interesting letter, people. Did anyone else find some of Vala's comments a little odd?" Not waiting for any answers he continued. "Why don't we all take a break and meet back here in half an hour. Then we'll go over her mission report together. I think we'll continue to have you read to us Mitchell. I, for one, don't want to read a censored report." Walking out of the room Landry had a confused and angry look on his face.

Walter came in and suggested they wait in a smaller conference room down the hall. Once they were all sitting Jack spoke first. "Did all you guys know about this mission?"

Sam, Teal'c and Mitchell nodded while Daniel shook his head no. He looked surprised by their nods.

Sam said. "Not the details, just that she was going on a mission to help out SG-6 and that they'd requested her because she knew the planet."

"That is also the information that I received General O'Neill."

Mitchell spoke "She told me that much when she saw me about her reassignment to another team."

Jack and Daniel spoke at the same time. "Another team?"

Ignoring Jack, an obviously distressed Daniel continued. "Reassignment? What reassignment? Why would she leave? How could she leave? What was she thinking?"

As Daniel continued to talk Sam got angrier and angrier. Jack watched in amazement as his normally calm and controlled Sam exploded at Daniel.

"My God, Daniel, what did you expect? You treat her like a whore and then think she'd want to stay?"

Daniel was flabbergasted. He looked so confused Sam almost felt sorry for him. Teal'c and Mitchell looked back and forth between Daniel and Sam in shock. Jack had a slightly guilty look which Sam caught out of the corner of her eye. But she was too far gone to think about it now.

Daniel protested "What are you talking about, Sam. I never …"

"You never what, Daniel? Never slept with Vala and then snuck out of her room once you were finished with her? I'll give you credit for one thing Daniel, at least you never left money on her dresser."

Teal'c and Mitchell were furious and Sam thought she might have to hold them back from attacking Daniel. Daniel was looking desperately at Jack with pleading eyes. Sam noticed his apparent appeal to Jack for help.

Sam leaned over and grabbed Jack's arm. "What's going on, Jack? What do you know about this?"

Earlier Nash had been on the edge of tears but Daniel was actually crying. He'd taken off his glasses and was holding them in his right hand by the earpiece. "That's not what happened. You don't understand …"

Mitchell had stood up and was headed towards Daniel obviously intending to do him grievous bodily harm.

"Damn straight we don't understand."

Teal'c had risen and looked even deadlier than Mitchell. Jack shouted. "Everybody settle down. Give the boy a chance to explain."

Daniel was leaning towards Sam with a desperate look on his face. "I love her Sam, she knows that."

"Daniel, did you tell her?"

"I told her how much I'd missed her, how empty I felt when she was gone, that it was even worse then after she collapsed the SuperGate, that I'd barely slept and how much she meant to me. I must have told her I loved her. But it doesn't matter. I was there, she knows I love her and I know she loves me."

Sam reached out and touched his arm in comfort. She'd begun to think that something was off with the whole mess and that Jack knew something significant.

"I don't know what to tell you Daniel. At one time Vala would have agreed with you. She was convinced that you loved her. The morning after she came to my lab she was so happy she was glowing. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that happy. Vala wasn't sure why you left once she fell asleep but she wasn't concerned. Then we all met in the briefing room and her world collapsed."

Daniel's head hung down and a groan escaped his lips.

"You wouldn't even look at her, you didn't say a word. You were so cold I was almost convinced that she'd imagined everything. Except that it was more than ignoring her, you'd done that before. You were obviously working hard not to react to her. I didn't know what to think. And I didn't know what to tell her. But, as you'd expect, she decided that she was at fault, that she'd overreacted. You hadn't actually said that you loved her and if all that happened was you'd fallen victim to your lust and her seductive wiles you owed her nothing. Vala assumed that you were afraid she'd misunderstood what'd happened and that's why you were acting that way. So she sucked it up and pretended she didn't really care how you were acting. Vala may have fooled some of you guys and she certainly tried to fool herself, but I thought she was pretty transparent. Yet somehow she half way convinced me that you weren't at fault, Daniel. She blamed herself and defended you."

Daniel continued to look at Jack. Daniel looked devastated but said nothing in his defense. Sam continued, all the while praying that Daniel would say something, anything, to explain his actions.

"Then two days later you show up at her door. You don't say anything, not a word, except for her name. And she took you back; she loved you and was willing to take whatever you were able to give her. She'd settle for just sex if that was all you wanted. Then you left again as soon as you could. Did you really think that she was asleep? That she didn't hear you berating yourself for what had happened, telling yourself what a mistake you'd made, how awful you felt. But she kept it all in; sure that she understood what was going on."

"But you continued to treat her like crap, Daniel. Ignoring her during the day, acting like she meant nothing to you, less than nothing. How could you have done that Daniel?"

All he could say was her name. "Sam. Sam. You don't know ..."

"Skip it Daniel. There's nothing you can say, no excuse would be good enough."

"And then, Daniel. You still couldn't leave her alone. Two more days and you show up again and the same thing happens. But this time she listens closely to what you say, and it clicks. What you're feeling. You can't control your attraction to her and you're ashamed of it, you think you're a bad person and you're embarrassed of what your friends will think of you. So Vala feels guilty that being with her is making you miserable and decides that if she loves you she'll have to bite the bullet and leave SG-1. To save you from yourself."

Daniel had dropped his glasses on the table earlier and by the end of Sam's harangue his head was down on the table. Without raising his head he started to pound the table with his fists softly moaning "Stupid, stupid, stupid." Then he lifted up his head to face his friends. "How could I be so stupid?" Taking in a deep breath he looked directly at Sam. "It was Dr. Mackenzie."

"What was Dr. McKenzie?"

Before Daniel could reply Jack yelled. "You didn't tell me it was McKenzie. You said 'the psychiatrist'!"

Mitchell broke in. "Dr. McKenzie? The shrink that keeps sticking you in the booby hatch?"

Daniel sat up straight and started to explain. He told them that when Vala was being checked out in the Infirmary Dr. McKenzie had asked Daniel to come into his office. He explained to him that Vala had undergone severe emotional trauma and that Daniel had to be very careful of what he did or he might cause irreparable psychological damage. That Vala mustn't be forced to remember her former life before she was ready, that even though she might appear to have recovered and be functioning normally, it was all pretence. McKenzie said that in his professional opinion the most accurate description of Vala's mental state was 'fragile'. McKenzie explained his concern that Daniel would pressure her for his own selfish purposes and told Daniel that he had to put Vala's needs before his own. That if Daniel loved her he would leave Vala alone until McKenzie determined that she'd recovered completely.

"But I had to tell her how much I missed her, how frantic I'd been when I thought I'd lost her forever. How much she meant to me. So I carried Vala to her room and put her to bed. I stayed and we talked for hours. I purposely sat at her desk as far across the room as I could get. I didn't mean anything to happen but I went over to say goodnight before leaving and I was lost. I loved her and she loved me and it was the most natural thing in the world."

"Then as she fell asleep I kept hearing McKenzie's voice and I felt horribly guilty, that I was a selfish idiot and that I was going to harm her. I had to leave; I was furious with myself and ashamed by what I'd done, that I didn't love her enough to consider her and her needs before mine, that I'd taken advantage of her being in a vulnerable state."

Sam looked incredulous. "Daniel, how could you think that? Fragile? Vala'll kill you for swallowing that load of crap."

Teal'c spoke up. "Is not Dr. McKenzie that man who Vala has complained" Using air quotes he said "is always grabbing my ass?"

Mitchell chimed in. "What? That guy? He's a total sleaze. He's always looking for an excuse to touch Carolyn."

"What about the next day? What were you thinking?"

"McKenzie stopped me in the hall on my way to the briefing. He wanted to stress that I had to let Vala make the first move and to take my cues from her. If she wanted to open up to me she would but in her own time and that he would keep me apprised of her progress. I figured the logical thing to do was to follow her lead. I was trying to act neutral and not pressure her. But Vala didn't say anything about us, she didn't even say good morning. When I got up enough nerve to look at her she had such a distant cold look on her face I was terrified that he was right and that'd I'd hurt her by insisting that she loved me."

Mitchell snorted. "Jeepers, Jackson. What kind of moron are you? Are you that guy who never calls? There a whole complex emotional protocol for the morning after. Alien space babe or not, I suspect it's the same throughout the known universe and beyond."

"But I had to see her and when we were together I was able to convince myself that McKenzie was wrong. But what if he wasn't? Was Vala reacting that way during the day because she didn't know how she should feel? And since she didn't remember her life here, did she feel she had to follow our lead, my lead. I was terrified and angry at myself and felt so guilty that I couldn't stay with her. I swear Sam I thought she knew that I love her. She's been through so much and I couldn't burden her with me."

"Daniel, you're a smart man. Why didn't you talk to someone?" Suddenly Sam knew why Jack had been looking guilty; she remembered what Jack had said earlier about it being McKenzie.

"You did though. You told Jack, didn't you?" Sam grabbed Jack's arm but this time at the wrist where she dug her nails in and squeezed hard. In a deceptively calm and controlled voice Sam asked. "I don't understand Jack. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It sounded like the guy made sense. All Danny said was that it was a psychiatrist." His voice rose. "In my defense he never said it was McKenzie."

Sam glared. "You have no defense!"

Jack looked terrified as a furious Sam glared at him. Teal'c and Mitchell looked disgusted. Daniel started to smile. Then he was laughing.

The rest of his friends looked at him in fear. They were sure Daniel was having a nervous breakdown.

"Vala is not going to be happy with you Jack!"

"Me? What about you?"

"She loves me, she has to forgive me. Vala knows I'm an idiot. And I can blame McKenzie. That'll be easy. She already hates him."

"Well, she loves me, too!"

"Sorry. But not that much, Jack." Sam almost giggled at the crest fallen expression on Jack's face.

"Daniel!"

"Jack?"

"Daniel, wipe that smirk off your face."

Teal'c broke in. "There will be more than enough time for recriminations when we return with Vala. When do we leave?"

Mitchell felt like a spoil sport but he had to say it. "I agree with Landry. There were some strange messages in that letter. I think we need to read her mission report first. Plus I'm sure Landry won't let us go until we do."

Jack and Sam stood up. She went to Daniel who was getting up from his chair and wrapped her arms tightly around him. Sam kissed him on the cheek saying "I'm so happy for you. For you both. Though you are a complete idiot. You may not deserve it but she'll forgive you."

Jack spoke up. "Let's go campers! Times a wasting."

As they headed for the door Teal'c smiled broadly at Daniel who grinned back almost bouncing as he walked. It made Teal'c think of Vala. Mitchell muttered loudly "No big whoop. I knew they'd get together, sooner or later."

Sam refused to look at Jack. He tried to take her hand but she pulled it away. Jack lid his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him. She looked down at his feet and scowled. Jack let go of her and with his hand on her chin tilted her head up forcing her to look at him. He moved his face forward until it was within inches of hers saying. "I'm sorry. I should have made him talk to you. I didn't want to hurt Vala either."

As Jack leaned in even closer Sam breathed "Okay, for now. We'll talk later." In the two seconds before she turned around Sam kissed his lips. It was so brief that Jack was afraid he'd imagined it. Then as she walked towards the door she took his hand in hers.


	3. Vala's Report

_**Be forewarned. The following is pretty much just Mitchell reading Vala's report out loud.**_

The members of SG-1 were the first people back in the Briefing Room. It was obvious that Mitchell was dying to ask a question. He could no longer control his curiosity.

"What's the deal with this McKenzie guy? I know he's been quick to commit Jackson and slow to release him."

The rest of the team looked at each other as if unsure of who should speak. Jack jumped in first.

"He's always had some sort of love/hate fixation with Daniel. I really don't know where it came from."

Sam reluctantly spoke up. "I don't really know but the rumor mill has it that McKenzie resented Daniel. For a lot of reasons. He wanted to join a team but was rejected. He has no scientific skills that would be of use in the field. McKenzie may have thought that as a psychiatrist he would be a natural negotiator and maybe a diplomat. But he has no people skills, even if his training did provide him with insight he isn't capable of accomplishing anything with it. McKenzie is a very jealous and territorial man."

Jack added. "He's a miserable son of a bitch."

Teal'c started to speak and his surprised teammates listened intently. "I have been told that Dr. McKenzie considers himself to be ... in air quotes 'God's gift to women'. This is not reflected in the feelings of the women in SGC. In fact I have noticed revulsion to be the most common reaction to his sexual advances."

Teal'c looked as if he was considering saying something else. Jack asked. "Any more pearls of wisdom, big guy?"

"Daniel Jackson is reputed to be a very nice person and also a using air quotes once again 'stud muffin'."

It wasn't clear who choked first, Daniel or Jack. Sam was laughing and felt compelled to add. "Actually his nickname among 'the girls' speaks to all of his assets."

Mitchell encouraged her. "Well? What is it? You can't leave us hanging like this."

Sam had to giggle as she told them. "Studly Do-Right."

Mitchell and Jack were doubled up laughing while Teal'c looked baffled. Daniel was blushing furiously, refusing to even acknowledge Jack & Mitchell.

"Then it would make sense for him to use Vala to get to Jackson. I know from Caro that Vala's rejected him more than once. And when he started to get a little too 'hands on' Vala wasn't her usual pleasant self. She also threatened him. If he didn't leave the other women at SGC alone she'd perform some primitive alien surgery on his reproductive organs."

Mitchell continued his questions. "So the guy's a jerk. Why's he still here?"

Sam said. "Good question. It isn't exactly clear. He isn't Air Force and civilian consultants come under Pentagon administration. Word is that he isn't a spy; he just has something on someone. Not that he couldn't be fired, but it would take a lot to do it. And Hammond always said that you pick your battles and for him McKenzie wasn't the highest priority."

Jack had been nodding during her explanation.

"By the way Jackson you might have wanted to talk to the Medical Team about Vala's condition. She was never seen by McKenzie. Dr. Lam checked her out physically when she first came home and then continued to meet with her about her adjustment to being back at SGC. She made the decision to not request a psych consult on Vala feeling that she was in her professional opinion functioning well and with the help of her friends and teammates Caro didn't expect any problems. Vala is the most resilient person Caro's ever met. She did explain to Vala that she reserved the future right to require her to meet with a counselor, but believe me it would never have been McKenzie. He must have laughed when you accepted the idea that he would be involved in her treatment."

Daniel looked mortified when he heard Mitchell. Sam was unable to resist poking him in the chest. "See, Daniel? You should have come to your friends. Keeping that stuff to yourself is dangerous. And not just to you. Trusting your friends is important; they love you and can look out for you."

Daniel looked so depressed that Sam added. "I'm no better. I never should have listened to Vala. I told her to talk to you Daniel. But I should have come to you; I didn't trust you to be the man I know you are. But love does such funny things to people. Not that that's any excuse."

Sam lightly patted Daniel's hand. It looked as if Sam was going to hug him when Landry and the others came in. Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Daniel, it's going to be okay."

"Indeed Daniel Jackson."

Mitchell stood up when Landry walked in and on the way up he jabbed Daniel in the ribs and smiled when he jumped.

"Jackson."

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"Welcome to our little clambake people. Captain Sears. Lieutenant Nash. Go ahead and sit."

Walter had set up two folding chairs against the wall. The two men quickly sat down. Lieutenant Nash slumped down looking as if he'd lost his best friend. In comparison Sears sat as if he was at attention. Sears was thrilled just being allowed in the same room with SG-1. Nash looked at Sears and had to smile. Sears returned what he thought was a friendly greeting from Nash. In fact Nash was smiling at the man's ignorance of what was about to happen. Nash was also smiling as he imagined how much Vala would have appreciated what was coming. Vala had let him read parts of her report and he was also prepared to jump in and make matters worse for Captain Sears whenever and wherever possible.

Jack and Sam had made sure that Daniel sat between them. Landry sat at the head of the table. He had motioned Mitchell to take the head chair but he had shaken his head no and sat next to Teal'c.

"No thank you, sir. This will be fine."

Landry looked at Daniel. His face was flushed but his eyes were clear. Daniel returned Landry's look as if he was challenging the general to say something. Jack made an aside "He'll be fine Hank. Trust me. I trust him."

Landry nodded at Jack and told Mitchell to get started. Cameron opened the envelope and slid out the notebook containing the rough draft of Vala's mission report on PK-007.

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_**Mission Report – PK-007**_

_**Prepared by Vala Mal Duran SG-1**_

Or should that be SG-6 or maybe SG-1 hyphen SG-6? Whatever, let's not sweat the petty details. I'm sure you'll fix it all later, proper format and all that.

Day 1. We arrive on Safe Haven PK-007 to you:

The team left SGC this morning, gated to the Alpha Site then through 2 randomly dialed gates before reaching PK-007. Using my access code we penetrated their security with ease, survived the final test on arrival and gained free access to Safe Haven without restrictions.

Now Cam dearest, don't tell anyone how I really got us through. I want it to sound like my unique skills and underhanded dealings worked their magic.

Sears and the boys established base camp, set up a perimeter and did all sorts of other important but tedious security things. Feel free to flesh that part out a little. Nash and I put on our undercover outfits and headed for town. I hate to admit it but no leather for either of us. Nash was to be Robert's cousin while I was the little wifey. Sadly all, and I mean all, of Robert's family who aren't trapped on his planet are school teachers. So Nash had to dress like a scholar and me, I got to be the frumpy but sassy spouse. Needless to say our clothes were plain and simple. It also reduced the chances of me being recognized if we were to run into any former colleagues, though the plan was to blend into the background until we got our bearings.

11:00

Rendezvous with informants by Mal Duran and Nash:

We made it to the settlement with no problems and were in time for lunch. Always a good sign on a spying mission. I loved that the planet was called PK-007. I wanted to call myself Jane Bond; Nash laughed and said if anything we were channeling 21 Jump Street. I didn't get the reference but it kept him chuckling for almost ten minutes.

Back to lunch. Phoebe and Robert's inn is quite a popular place, due in no small part to her cooking. And as a busy inn in a small town it was a major center for the rapid dissemination of information. In other words gossip central.

It's well known that Robert & Phoebe never sell information so no one censors their conversations. It's also well known that they'll use any and all information they gather to protect and help their friends and families. They've passed on warnings about government crackdowns, fomented revolutions and rebellions, etc. I think you Tau'ri call it 'sticking it to the man.' Which means as long as nothing they do affects anyone else's potential earnings they sort of enjoy providing reliable 'intel'. In fact it's not unheard of for Safe Haven outlaws to provide additional assistance to Robert and Phoebe, depending on who they're helping or hurting. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so to speak. If you leave that comment in be sure and note that it's commonly considered either Arabic or Chinese saying or perhaps based on a line in Exodus. I don't want Daniel to think I don't try and properly cite my sources.

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Mitchell couldn't help but look up when Daniel laughed out loud looking extremely pleased at Vala's comment. "Good girl. That's my Vala, she has her priorities straight."

Landry was surprised to hear Jackson use the phrase my Vala but just tucked the information away in the back of his mind for the moment.

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Never mind. Cut that, it's just snarky. Please redact it. Don't you love that I'm starting to learn the proper terminology? Though maybe too little too late. By the time you send this to transcription I expect it to have more blacked out lines than not. Sorry, I'll try to stay on point, but it got a little exciting here and danger always did bring out my inner silliness.

According to Phoebe and all of her most reliable contacts the Ori haven't made it to Safe Haven yet, so no one here has routed them. Everyone knows enough about the Ori to see them as a serious threat. There will be no objections to Phoebe and Robert passing along information to SGC about the Ori. Organized religions run by fanatics who want to impose their beliefs and rules on everyone are pretty much natural enemies for outlaws.

So by Happy Hour our mission was completed. The original Intel was bad but I've opened a channel of communication that may prove quite useful in the future. And we don't have to get into bed with the evil doers, at least not against our will. That was supposed to make you smile, Cameron. If you didn't, just imagine Daniel's face if he read it.

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Mitchell couldn't help looking at Daniel and neither could the rest of the people in the room. Daniel was smiling and looked unconcerned by the furtive glances of his friends.

Landry asked Walter to bring a glass of water for Colonel Mitchell. Once the tray with a carafe and full glass of water was in front of him Mitchell drank down all but a few inches of the water.

"Thanks. Do you want me to continue Sir?"

"I think if we can all sit through a slide show and two hour briefing on Glastonbury, not that it wasn't riveting Dr. Jackson, we can all manage Vala's report. I think she's just about to get to the good part. Am I right Lieutenant?" The General had noticed that Nash was now sitting up straight listening to every word Mitchell read. He was also keeping an eye peeled on the Captain sitting next to him.

"Sir, yes sir!" Nash was looking forward to the next section of the report, it wouldn't help Vala to have Sears crushed into the ground before his eyes. But a small amount of revenge would make him feel a little better.

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I decided that Nash and I would take Phoebe and Robert up on their supper invitation and then head back to camp. I did feel just the tiniest bit guilty about leaving the rest of the boys to eat MREs. But I swallowed it. I don't know about you but that last bit made Nash laugh out loud.

19:00 hours Lieutenant Nash and civilian technical consultant and former goddess Vala Mal Duran return to base camp:

We informed Captain Sears the mission had been satisfactorily completed and that we could go home. I suggested that we leave in the morning. There isn't usually a problem getting off PK-007 but I feel more comfortable in the daylight.

At this point Captain Sears expressed dissatisfaction with my report, challenged my veracity and handling of the monetary resources allotted to me by SGC.

Wasn't that a lovely dispassionate professional way of saying the moron thought I was lying! That I hadn't actually tried to verify the information motivated by my desire to keep for myself the money I was given for any necessary bribes, payoffs or other miscellaneous expenses.

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Mitchell put down the notebook and looked at Captain Sears. "Is that a correct account of the situation Captain?"

Sears nervously defended his actions. "Everyone at SGC knows how unreliable that woman is. That all she cares about is money and that she can't be trusted. Dr. Jackson says it all the time."

Nash spoke without asking permission. "Sirs. I'd like to make a formal correction for the record. What Sears may consider everyone is a very small group. Ms Mal Duran has a very large number of friends and acquaintances who think no such thing. She is a respected and well liked member of the SGC family."

"But Jackson's always …."

"Please Sears don't be an idiot. Or at least not more of an idiot than usual. Everyone knows exactly why Dr. Jackson says those things about Vala. Sorry, Ms Mal Duran."

Daniel looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Permission to speak freely, General Landry?"

"Please."

"No disrespect intended but my personal favorite line going around base is that if anyone should that Jackson should know that 'denial is not just a river in Africa.'"

Jack choked back a laugh and Sam couldn't help but giggle. Teal'c gave a nod of appreciation to Nash while Mitchell and Landry looked stunned. Again Daniel looked confused and Sam leaned over saying "It's sort of a play on words. I'll explain it to you later."

Nash had stood up when he interrupted Sears. Sitting down he added. "I'll be quiet now, sirs. I just couldn't let him get away with saying that. She may be gone but she deserves our respect and gratitude."

Landry replied. "Lieutenant I'd like you to feel free to speak up and clarify any parts of this report whenever you feel it necessary. In fact, I order you to do so."

"If you're ready now please continue Colonel."

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You can imagine how P.O.'ed I was with the troll. I asked him what he thought I should have done. I have to admit I didn't expect him to have an answer, let alone a plan. It seems he'd decided that he and his team should return to the settlement on a reconnaissance mission and if or when he saw fit they'd make contact with any inhabitants who seemed likely sources of intelligence. Sears was convinced he could find out about the visit to the planet by the Ori. I wanted to scream at the guy "there was no visit." But I restrained myself. I may have made a few strongly worded comments about the worthiness of his plan. I did warn him not to go, I told him it was a bad idea and he wouldn't find anything out because there was nothing to find out. He ordered me to turn over all my funds and I refused. I told him he could have me thrown in the brig when we got back but I wasn't giving him any money. There was some contingency emergency money in our food stores and I let him have it without a fight. Which turned out to be quite the mistake. I ordered Nash to remain in camp with me. I tried to order Sears not to go but he informed me that I was in charge of the mission and since I said the mission was completed then I was no longer in charge of anything. I think he only agreed to let Nash stay to provide security for the camp and our gear. I pretty much had to order Nash to not strangle the captain; I didn't think that whole attacking superior officer stuff looks good on one's military record. But his heart was in the right place, and after what happened I think he should get some sort of medal for paying attention to me, and also for being nice to me.

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"I'm getting very interested in hearing just what did happen there on that planet. Sears?"

"There were some minor snags and it did appear that Ms Mal Duran was correct in her assessment of the intel. But in the end I think it was still a successful mission."

"How about you Nash? What do you think?"

"I think that you may want to hear just a little bit more of the details, Sir."

"I think I can agree to that. Mitchell?"

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So off they went into the woods. I actually do like to say I told you so, and if nothing else this trip I got to say it a lot! So Nash and I sat around the campfire exchanging life stories, playing truth or dare, singing what I was told were 'camp songs'. He tried to explain what exactly this 'camp' place was but he had to give up.

02:30

Informant alerts Mal Duran and Nash re mission complications:

Yes, fraking 2:30 in the morning! We finally went to sleep only to be woken up in the middle of the night by a hysterical Phoebe. It seems that Sears and his entourage had made quite a splash in town and though they may have made some contacts they did lose all the money and ended up in the closest thing to a jail there is on Safe Haven. They weren't on Phoebe and Robert's list so they had no immunity when they weren't with me. I warned Sears but he thought I was either lying or exaggerating.

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Mitchell stopped reading to take a sip of water. Landry leaned over to Jack and said quietly. "Jack, I've a got a bad feeling about this. Take a look at Nash, he's about to lose it. When he does I think he'll go for the captain's throat."

"I'm with you on this Hank. I don't think I'm gonna like what's coming next."

As soon as Sam saw Landry lean over towards Jack she was afraid that Daniel would hear what they were saying. Sam didn't know what they were going to say but she could make a pretty good guess. And it wouldn't be something that Daniel needed to hear. So Sam touched Daniel's arm and leaned in. Speaking softly so he'd have to strain to hear her "Boy, even though it's Cam's voice I can just hear Vala. How about you? Can't you just see her expression? She sure writes with as much hyperbole as she speaks. You know Vala. She's a great one for exaggeration."

If Sam could get Daniel's attention focused on answering her maybe he wouldn't hear Jack and Landry.

Daniel's work, actually his life, revolved around words. Sam knew that there weren't any subtleties in Vala's language that would be picked up by Jack and not Daniel. But she prayed he would believe or try to believe that Vala was exaggerating for effect. Mitchell started up again and Sam sighed. Not exactly in relief but in the faint hope that she'd provided some distraction for Daniel.

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It wouldn't have mattered except that they drew attention to themselves. Naïve idiots with money who can't hang on to it sort of have no rights on PK-007. Children and some mentally challenged adults are left alone, but everyone else is fair game. In this case they were swindled by a not very nice brigand named Gunn. He isn't exactly popular but as long as he doesn't break any of the few rules there are no one can touch him. One of his main sources of income is finding 'miners' to work on worlds where they have difficulty recruiting workers. He also does a nice business in house servants, and no that isn't a euphemism for sex slaves. I'm talking maids and gardeners and cooks, etc. Again it's a question of working places where there's a shortage of available manpower. It isn't slavery per se, if you survive the mines for three years you're free to leave. Servants have to work seven years but they usually make it out alive.

The catch with owing Gunn money is that you've actually put yourself up as collateral for a loan and he can call in your marker whenever he likes. I suspected that Sears thought he could get the rest of the money from me to pay Gunn back. But it doesn't work that way, he gets a lot more money from the mining colonies than you owe him. If he allowed people time to get the money he'd take a business loss. And Gunn hates losing.

05:00

Mal Duran & Nash implement recognizance plan and facilitate the release of prisoners.

So now I had to figure out what to do. I'm sorry to report that my first instinct was to just leave them on PK-007 but I decided that I would be the better woman and rescue their sorry asses. Joe, Guy and Phil had no choice and Sears would be punished enough when he had to admit I was right. So off we went with Phoebe.

Cutting to the chase, which has always been my favorite part, I ended up with four team members in a holding pen at Gunn's office. Phoebe offered to be the middleman for our negotiations but I decided it would be better if she stayed out of it. If things fell completely apart she and Robert could still pass on information to SGC. Which is sort of what my next mission was supposed to be anyway. Landry and I had been meeting about my setting up an intelligence gathering network, actually a "spy ring". We still need to work out the final details but the basics were ironed out right before I left. I just decided a few days ago to make it a solo operation. I hadn't worked out what b.s. I'd have to sling to convince him it was a good idea. Sam's told me that the old "I just need to get over a broken heart" chestnut doesn't really play these days. She was going to work with me from SGC, though now she won't have to after all. Cam, I want to ask you and Teal'c to be with Sam when she reads my note, there may be a few tears shed and if Jack's not there she might need a shoulder or two. Don't tell her I told you that. For once try and play it cool. I'm counting on you to help clean up the messes I've left behind.

Bah! Enough melodrama! On with the tale. So Sears and the guys are being held and slated to ship out in a day. Between bribes and payoffs and the calling in of numerous favors I'm going to get two of the guys out now and the others tomorrow. So I head to the cell to take custody and doesn't Sears go and do it again. Our guys were being held in a section of four two person cells that are really more like cages. I wasn't hiding but I was sort of skulking, it's never a good idea to call attention to yourself when you're paying a criminal's criminal buddies to make a profit at the expense of the boss. Though it happens all the time. It's sort of a cost of doing business or at least that kind of business. Sorry. I digress, once again.

Our guys are in two of the cells, one is empty and there are two kids in the other. So Sears sees me and he looks a little chagrined. Is that really a word? It's sort of goofy sounding, but then so's Sears. My guard's letting Sears and Phil loose and I'm waving them over to me when Sears opens his mouth. All about how we got to get the kids out, too. We can't leave them behind. I'm whispering to him that I don't have enough money. He's making me mad, telling me that I'm a greedy unfeeling bitch, that I just don't want to spend the money, etc. Then I'm yelling back. Why these kids? Just because they were in the cell next to him? What about the forty or fifty other kids in the complex? I admit that I didn't tell him they were going to be house servants, not miners, and would be free in seven years. Or that I could tell by their faces that they were wondering what he was talking about and had never thought about leaving. I'm pretty sure it was their parents who'd sold them and with their cooperation. It wasn't a bad way to get off a dirt water planet where there's no future. In fact it looked as if they were pretty lucky and been allowed to stay together. They were obviously siblings, maybe even twins.

Finally I just lost my temper and told him fine, I'd get them free if he'd just get out of there and back to the camp. Nash was waiting for us in the street. So I bought the kids outright. There was no need for bribes, they didn't cost much. I arranged to pick them up the next morning when I came back for Joe and Guy. I'm not sure that Sears believed me when I told him but at least he went with us back to camp.

14:00

Mal Duran finalizes arrangements for rescue and retrieval mission:

So now all that's left is making sure that everyone's ready to leave in the morning as soon as I get back with the other guys. I'll have to give the kids some money and send them to Robert and Phoebe; they'll be able to help them get off planet. Chances are good the kids won't be able to return home but at least they won't be stranded on Safe Haven.

But there is one more thing. The small but ugly matter of money. Or the lack of it actually. The kids were cheap but it was going to be a little tight even before. And the first transactions were not as discrete as I might have liked, and now word is out that Val Mal Duran is trying to get her hands on two specific guys in the cages. If all I wanted was two men, any two men, no one would care. But once it was known that I had a personal interest in the men prices went up. So chances were good that I'd be able to get Joe and Guy out but I'll have to stay behind for awhile and find a way to finagle the rest of the payment. I'm not stupid enough to get involved with Gunn so I'm sure I'll be okay. I just can't be sure when I'll be able to head back to the Stargate. I wanted someone to know what's going on so I talked to Nash. Now he's giving me trouble and insists that he'll stay with me after the rest of them leave. I told him we'd talk about it. Just what I need, another interfering do-gooder. What is it about SGC that attracts these guys! And the 64, 000 question, why do I find myself attracted to them? I'm starting to believe in this Karma stuff. I've certainly done enough bad in my life to deserve the punishment of falling in love with Daniel! And make sure you cut that last bit out Cammy baby.

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"Her writing gets a little sloppy here. I think she was in a hurry."

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07:00

Professional miscalculation on the part of Mal Duran result in major screw up in getting off PK-007. Everything goes to hell in a hand basket.

Things are happening pretty quickly and not exactly the way I'd hoped. I got Joe and Guy out and they're back here and ready to go. I wrote a note to Sam and a letter to you about the mission and explaining that I was writing this report to you. Now I need to take a few minutes to wrap this up before I give everything to Paul.

Nash is a problem but I've been able to convince him to go with the rest of them. I played a combination of the I'm in command so you do what I tell you card, the old someone has to tell the guys back at SGC what happened card, and the someone has to tell Landry the arrangements I made with Phoebe and Robert card. I might have cried a little when I told him he had to take my letter to Sam and kiss Teal'c for me. Though I had to fight back a giggle when I made him promise that last part.

The upshot is that he can't help me and anything he tried to do would just make it worse. I gave my word and I have to stay. I think Sears would laugh to think I was concerned about keeping my word. But Nash understands that I made a bargain and I'm not the only one who'd pay for my backing out.

Well, all my love to everyone. I may be down but I can always hope that I'm not out. Though I sorta think I am this time. But maybe some of SG-1's unnatural good luck has rubbed off on me. Who knows, one day Landry might just get a coded message from Mata Hari, stranger things have happened!

Someday you can tell Daniel that I didn't go gentle into that good night. And think of me the next time you kiss Caro.

Now, do I write Roger, over and out? Or is that just for voice communications? How about "That's all she wrote"?

07:45

Love and kisses, Vala Mal Duran.

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	4. The End

**_This is the last chapter._**

Mitchell finished reading the report and the room was completely silent. Nash was the first to speak. "She's going to space herself." He looked at his watch. "She has spaced herself."

Mitchell was the first to react. "What the hell do you mean? Why?"

"Vala knew what would happen when she bought our last guy. She didn't have enough money so she made a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"Pretty much herself for us. Grunn, the guy in charge, knew who she was. Vala'd been keeping out of sight when we first arrived but when she purchased our guys and the kids she couldn't hide who she was."

"Knew her how?"

"He'd worked with friends of hers in the past and he knew she was now part of SG-1."

"So, what did he want with Vala?" Mitchell asked with fear in his eyes. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer. Sam, Jack and even Teal'c looked frightened, General Landry looked angry. When Nash said 'spaced' Daniel had started to sweat, now his face was pale and his body was shaking.

"Vala's skills are highly prized in some circles and Grunn needed leverage to force her to work with him. She has a reputation for being fussy about the work she'll take; she's turned down a lot of lucrative jobs that didn't meet her criteria. Her friends explained to me that if the job involved violence she wasn't interested. Smuggling, robbery and confidence games were fine. Any con man will tell you that you can't cheat an honest man. But no kidnapping, no slave trade or any other job that involved what she considered innocent victims.

Most of Grunn's work is criminal but he isn't a cruel man. Which is to say he's capable of causing pain and suffering, but he doesn't enjoy it. Grunn uses pain as a tool, he isn't exactly a psychopath, but considers himself a practical man. He's a businessman, and as such he doesn't mistreat the product. If that's a miner then it makes sense to keep them in good condition.

One of his top money making activities is contract kidnapping, which he does for a cut of the ransom. If the ransom isn't paid he'll kill the hostage. If the authorities are involved the victim dies. When people know the victim will die they tend to do what they're told. He doesn't torture but he follows through if he makes a threat. People being what they are, some times victims die. And once it was a baby. The parents were convinced by the police that they should try and negotiate, that no one would ever kill an infant. Well, surprise! That kinda solidified his reputation as a serious bad guy, one you do not want to cross.

And now that she'd sold herself to him Grunn could force her to work for him. There's also the matter of the multiple bounties on members of SG-1. Plus her friends told me that there were parties out there who sought revenge on specific Goa'uld and were more than willing to settle for the host."

Daniel whispered the question everyone was thinking. "Why kill herself?"

Nash burst out in an angry laugh. "Because Vala was afraid they'd break her and she'd tell them secrets about SGC, secrets about SG-1, about her friends. And there was no way she would allow herself to work for Grunn and she knew that after a few refusals he'd kill her. If the people who work for the guy think they can dictate terms to him he needs them to know the consequences.

Vala insisted that she was too big a coward and that she wouldn't have the strength to go through with it if she waited too long. Vala'd always felt guilty that she didn't kill herself when she was first blended with Qetesh. Vala insists there's a short time at the beginning of the process when the host still has some small amount of control over their own body, but that she was too scared to take advantage of it. I tried to tell her that not many sixteen year old girls would find it easy to kill themselves even in that situation but she refused to listen."

He looked at Daniel whose eyes hadn't left Nash's face since he asked why. With a commiserating smile Nash said to Daniel. "You know how stubborn she can be."

Sam was afraid that Daniel was going into shock. She reached over and put her hand on his shoulder. There was no reaction to her touch but Sam could feel twitching in his muscles under her hand.

"She'd vowed she'd never make that mistake again. Vala told me there was a Tau'ri phrase that summed it up. Better safe than sorry. You can't be forced to do something if you're dead. Vala always knew how to get right to the point."

Sam had to know. "I don't understand. Why space herself?"

"Vala said it had a lot going for it. Quick, supposedly relatively painless and you couldn't be brought back with a sarcophagus. That was very important to her. Vala liked the idea of being in space with her physical body truly free."

Daniel's face showed no emotion, in spite of the tears rolling down his cheeks; he looked straight ahead with no expression. In contrast Teal'c face was more expressive than usual. He looked angry and stared at Sears as if he was planning how to kill him. Mitchell and Sam looked as if they'd been kicked in the stomach while Jack and Landry appeared to be in complete control though they looked concerned and unhappy. However if you looked closely both men had their fists clenched so tightly you expected blood to seep out where their nails dug into their hands.

Nash had become agitated as he spoke, then his voice became calm and in a monotone he spoke to all of them. "Vala Mal Duran was the bravest and strongest person I've ever met and none of you deserved her or her sacrifice." He bit his bottom lip as he held back tears. He saluted asking "Permission to leave, sir?"

Landry replied. "Dismissed Lieutenant."

"Thank you General." Nash turned on his heels and walked past Sears without a glance. He was out of the door within seconds.

All eyes in the room now focused on Captain Sears who started to whine and plead for understanding. "I didn't know. I had no idea what was happening. She didn't tell me any of this; she acted as if everything was under control. How was I supposed to know what was going on?"

"It was your command, son. It was your job to know."

"But General Landry, she was in charge. It was her mission."

Mitchell spoke through tightly clenched teeth. "Was it her mission when you decided to take your men into the town and check up on her? She told you she didn't have enough money. Didn't you wonder how she was able to get you all free?"

Jack added. "Just because one member is smarter than you and better at their job doesn't mean you aren't responsible for everyone on your team." Jack gave a quick glance at Sam and Daniel.

Now Sears looked as if he was in shook. Landry looked at the man as if he was a cockroach crawling on his food. "You're dismissed for now, Captain. But you're confined to quarters. I'll deal with you later. Now get out of here."

Daniel looked at Mitchell and in a flat tone said. "Forget all that. It doesn't matter. What's your plan? How do we get her back?"

Mitchell had no answer and looked at Jack for help.

"Daniel, we don't know where she is. We need to find out more information."

"You mean she's dead." He looked around the table and saw nods from Teal'c, Mitchell and Landry. But Sam didn't nod. She looked at Daniel and smiled.

"We'll find her Daniel, you and me. Have faith and don't worry. We don't need them."

Landry barked. "Colonel, what the ..."

Carter stood up and saluted. "I'm resigning my commission General. Effective immediately. Come Daniel, we have lots to do." She took his arm and walked slowly to the door. He smiled and then hugged her to his side as they walked.

"Damn it, Carter. What in hell do you think you're doing? Don't encourage him."

Sam smiled at Jack. "I know what I'm doing Jack. Some things are important. Daniel's my family and it's the least I can do after all he's done."

Teal'c stood up. "I have no commission to resign so I will simply say farewell." He bowed his head and took Daniel's other arm.

Mitchell stood up. "Just wait a minute, guys! What makes you think I'm letting my team go anywhere without me? It took way too much effort to get the band back together." Turning to Landry Mitchell saluted saying. "We'll just have to work out the details later, sir. I've approved emergency compassionate leave for SG-1, effective immediately."

As the four of them continued towards the door Landry looked at Jack. Landry was looking at Jack as if he could fix everything with just a word.

Nash broke into the room throwing open the door. He was shouting but it was impossible to understand what he was saying. He stopped short in front of Daniel and calmly started to speak.

"She's alive! Vala got away! She's okay!" Daniel just stared, seemingly unable to comprehend what Nash was saying. Nash threw his arms around Daniel and started to laugh.

Everyone in the room was clamoring for answers. Sam pushed Daniel into a chair and made shushing noises to make the others quiet down. "Let the man talk."

"It was the kids. Vala had slipped them the names of her friends so they'd have a place to go. By the time the kids found Robert and Phoebe the details of Vala's arrangement were common knowledge."

Nash was almost jumping up and down in joy. His face broke out in a Vala sized grin as he finished.

"They pulled off a rescue. I'm not sure of the details and I don't think they want to share them with anyone. There aren't many rules on Safe Haven but it's better to move quickly and quietly so no one decides there is a rule against what you want to do. Luckily Grunn wasn't the most popular guy, even among the other reprobates on the planet. Fortunately Vala has a lot of friends in low places."

"So where is she?"

"That's not so easy, Colonel Mitchell. They used rings to get her from Grunn's ship to a cloaked cargo ship that was in the middle of a smuggling run. A run that was temporally interrupted by a little side trip to save Vala. They took her to another planet where she gated to yet another planet and so on. Vala's friends got a coded message to a Jaffa double agent who contacted the Alpha site."

"I knew it. Nothing can keep our princess down!"

Daniel was a wreck, looking like a cross between a badly beaten man and someone recovering from a horrendous disease. But there with a huge grin on his face. He took a deep breath, as if it was the first breath he'd taken in hours. As he exhaled he looked at Landry. "I need her. I have to find her and bring her back."

Landry looked at Daniel. "I'm thrilled that Vala's alive, believe me. And Captain Sears will get what he deserves. However, Vala's now in position to continue her original mission. Her help might make the difference between success and failure for Earth as well as the rest of the galaxy."

Daniel spoke louder than before. "I don't think you understand me. I need her."

Mitchell looked at Landry who was starting to let his impatience show. As far as he was concerned Vala's chance to continue her work was of primary importance. Mitchell spoke up before Daniel could repeat himself.

"What Jackson means, sir, is that we, SG-1, need Vala. Together we have a better chance at finding out what's going on out there. Yes, she has the contacts. But she's going to need back-up. She's of no use to anyone rotting in a cell, burnt to death in a village square or unable to complete a job because she doesn't have the necessary resources. If she hadn't approached you wanting to transfer out of SG-1 would you have considered sending her out there on her own? The debacle on 'Safe Haven' would never have happened if we'd gone in as a team. The rest of us have our own valuable skills and life experiences too, which would increase the chances of a successful operation."

Looking slightly mollified Landry replied. "I have to admit that sounds reasonable. I'll discuss it with our intelligence people and get back to you. But should I be concerned about Vala's original request to leave SG-1?"

Daniel started to speak but Sam interrupted him. "Sir, I would hope you feel that you can trust my judgment as an officer."

"Implicitly Colonel Carter."

"Let me assure you that it was all a misunderstanding between team members. This has been or soon will be resolved. A misunderstanding that was acerbated by the unprofessional conduct of other SGC staff members, in particular Dr. McKenzie. Trust me. I will be filing a complaint concerning his behavior at the earliest opportunity."

"Thank you for your input. I'll accept your interpretation of the situation. Now go get that girl and bring her back home where she belongs!"

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Daniel, Sam and Mitchell had been looking for Vala for the past week. Teal'c was checking for news on Jaffa planets. General Landry had given them a list of planets where Vala had contacts with people who might be willing to share information. Sometimes for money or in trade for goods or information, or perhaps as a personal favor for Vala. Sometimes as revenge on common enemies or in exchange for the promise of future considerations. Vala and the General had just started working on the list when the mission to PK-007 interrupted their work.

The procedures they'd set up to make contact with SGC made it difficult to locate her, which had been the intent. Vala would arrange to have a message sent back to SGC from a planet after she'd moved on. It was decided that SG-1 should visit the planets on the list going under cover. Making contact with Vala could be dangerous for her, their assignment was to simply locate her then once they knew what planet she was on a message could be safely sent to her. There were a safe drops set up on all the planets on the list, and her instructions were to always check for messages before she moved on to another planet.

Sam had been thrilled to learn than Daniel and Cam would be wearing their tight leather outfits, it made her smile thinking how much Vala would've enjoyed the sight. As they suited up Cam had yelled into the women's locker room asking what she had to wear. He was hoping for something equally uncomfortable and demeaning. Sam had laughed and yelled out. "I look like Annie Oakley."

This time Sam had lucked out, no slutty barmaid outfit, no over-the -top ball gown, no metal bikini Princess Leia outfit, no see-through harem pants. She was wearing soft black leather boots, a light brown split skirt made of glove leather, a comfortable blouse and a matching leather vest.

"Come on boys. Get the lead out. Time to rustle us up some bad guys." Daniel and Mitchell gave her dirty looks and followed her to the Gate Room.

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_**In a tavern on PX-34572.**_

The three of them were sitting at a table tucked away in a dark corner at the back of the room. They were nursing bottles of Fillip Nectar and talking quietly. Mitchell was facing the front door when he caught a glimpse of a familiar face.

"Guys, please listen closely. This may be a cliché but I really mean it. Don't look now, but I think we might've found her."

Daniel and Sam managed to restrain themselves and not turn around. After taking a few breaths Sam reached down to tie her boot laces and took a quick peep into the main room. Sam slowly sat up making sure she was facing him directly out of the line of sight of any other customers and with a slight nod grinned at Daniel.

What Sam and Mitchell had seen was a striking woman eating at a table with two men who had the look of prosperous merchants. Her outfit was similar to Sam's with just a few differences. Her boots were black but her deep burgundy colored leather skirt was more form fitting and she wasn't wearing a blouse. The matching leather vest Vala was wearing didn't quite meet the top of her skirt exposing and inch or two of her torso. Her hair was a long dark mane of ringlet curls.

"Hiding in plain sight, huh?" Commented Mitchell.

"Actually, often one of the best ways to hide can be to call attention to yourself."

"Is that from the archeologists spy handbook, Jackson?"

Sam hissed. "Shut up, both of you. As soon as she leaves we go back to SGC and have an agent leave a message in the safe box."

"I think she's leaving." As he spoke Mitchell put his head down and lifted up his mug. As he took a drink, keeping the mug in front of his face, he stole a look towards the door.

"Yep, there she goes. Did you leave a good tip Daniel? We're out of here."

They finished their drinks and slowly made their way to the entrance. It was a busy tavern in a busy little town on market day. Strangers ducking into a tavern for a quick drink were a normal part of the day and no one took any notice of them.

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Jack and four members of SG-1 were waiting in the Gate Room for Vala to arrive. Jack had waylaid Landry and asked him to give them some privacy for their reunion. None of them knew what to expect and they were nervous, Daniel more than anyone. He'd been racking his brain to figure out what he'd do when he saw Vala. It'd been three days since they'd found her. They knew she'd take a circuitous route back to Earth but hadn't realized how long it would take. After two days of uninspired indecision Daniel had decided to 'play it by ear'. It wasn't his usual style but he decided to put his trust in his feelings and hers.

The Gate activated and there she was there, standing on the ramp facing them. Gone was the red leather outfit. In its place Vala wore what appeared to be the clothes of a farm hand. She wasn't disguised as a boy but she didn't look much like a girl. If someone who didn't know her saw her walk by they wouldn't bother with a second look. Her drab colored clothes hung loosely on her small frame and there were smudges of dirt on her face. Vala's hair was pulled back in a low pony tail and her head covered by a faded mustard yellow cap. Her posture was poor and her body was slightly huddled over. Vala looked like an exhausted, underfed and overworked teenager as she walked down the ramp. After a few steps Vala underwent a transformation. She stood up straight as she pulled the hideous cap off her head. Suddenly there was a bounce in her walk and she gave off her usual high energy vibe. Shaking her hair free after pulling it out of the ponytail she spit in her hand and started to rub the dirt off her face. She was smiling until she saw the group. After a second she broke out in her special Vala grin, ear to ear with a twinkle in her eye. Vala squealed and ran towards them launching herself at Teal'c ending up with her legs around his waist laughing. She jumped down and shook Mitchell's hand.

"Cameron."

"Vala."

"Liked the mission report Princess. Later I'll need a full debriefing of the rescue, with all the gory details. And I call first dibs on the movie rights."

Turning to Sam they hugged tightly. Sam said. "We missed you, Vala. Its good to have you home."

Vala stepped back and looked at Daniel. There was still a smile on her face but the grin was gone. Nodding she started to speak. "Daniel …"

Daniel didn't let her finish, he had no idea what Vala was going to say to him. All he knew was that he didn't want to hear it. He put his hand over her mouth saying. "You left me."

Sam had to laugh at the look of utter confusion on Vala's face. When Vala heard Sam's laugh she looked even more puzzled. Vala turned to look at Sam. Daniel gently took her hand and pulled her close. With his arm around her waist he headed to the door. She didn't resist but the confused look remained on her face as they walked out. Sam, Mitchell and Teal'c smiled in relief and headed off to the Commissary knowing whatever happened Vala would soon be looking for food, making the Commissary the logical place to wait for their friends.

On the way Mitchell explained to his teammates that if they were going to be part of a spy ring they needed to come up with cool code names. And that the men should have the right to veto leather outfits that were overly tight or in any way demeaning. That kept Sam laughing all the way to the elevator. As if Vala would agree to that! As if Sam would!

Daniel had taken his hand off her mouth before they got out of the room. They were headed down the hallway when Daniel stopped suddenly and opened the door to a small and rarely used conference room. He pulled Vala into the room and once inside Daniel locked the door.

Vala hadn't said a word but now she whispered "Daniel?"

He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her closer. With his face inches from hers he spoke. "You shouldn't have left me." He smiled and quickly closed the gap between them and kissed her. Fighting against an intense need to stay with his mouth pressed softly against hers and his tongue seeking to part her lips Vala pulled out of his embrace. Walking backwards until she was two feet away from his body, though she wanted nothing more than to be held tightly against that body, she put her hands on her hips and glared.

"What they hell are you doing? Is this some sort of pre-seduction apology Daniel? Do you want me to forgive you so I'll have sex with you again?" She was barely able to keep her mouth shut and not tell him that it would be okay with her if that was what he wanted. Biting her bottom lip to keep from saying anything Vala moved her hands off her hips and wrapped her arms around her chest trying to distance herself from him physically and emotionally.

Daniel pushed his glasses tight against his face, took a deep breath, and smiled.

"A couple of things Vala. First of all, I love you."

Her body swayed when she heard his words and she felt as if she was going to pass out. She told herself that it wasn't because of what he said but because she hadn't eaten in a long time.

"Funny thing about …" Watching her expression he had second thoughts about what he'd been going to say.

"Not really funny. At least not like a joke. Not ha ha funny. More like a comic juxtaposition of misunderstandings. I think the cliché phrase is 'someday we'll look back at this and laugh'. What I mean is …" he'd started to ramble, losing track of his thoughts and what he'd wanted to say.

"Daniel? What are you trying to say?" Vala's hands were back on her hips and she was glaring at him. When he didn't respond she stamped her foot. She was about to punch him in the face when he spoke.

"Dr. McKenzie. He …

At this point Vala was beyond confused. She pulled out a chair from around the table and sat down. Vala had no idea what Daniel could possibly have to say to her that had anything to do with Dr. McKenzie. He was that awful psychiatrist; head shrinker was what Mitchell called him. The man that put her Daniel in what Jack called the loony bin. The toad that was always trying to rub himself up against her in line at the Commissary and trying to flirt with her when they passed in the hall until she "took care of him".

Soon she stopped listening to the words Daniel was saying, which wasn't difficult since he was making no sense.

Not everyone at SGC realized how smart Vala was; Daniel did, as did Sam. Sam had a lot of respect for Vala's intuitive scientific ability. Though, like Jack, Vala would play 'dumb' on occasion.

However, even the two of them underestimated how quickly her mind worked. When running scams being able to 'read' a potential mark was a valuable asset. But it was more than that, you needed to be able to almost instantly make changes when new data was introduced, you had to anticipate that need and you had to pay close attention to everything going on around you. And Vala was a master. She could listen to and comprehend multiple conversations at one time. Vala could jump to the correct conclusion with very little information and realize how to act on it. When they were faced with the finishing of the Supergate Vala saw the solution in her head and it was faster and easier to just do it than try to explain. Making the right choice of who to trust was another helpful skill. You didn't always have the luxury of enough time to make an informed decision and being your own portable lie detector could be a true lifesaver.

At that point she was able to focus on the feelings behind those nonsensical words. Vala was glad she was sitting down because otherwise she would have collapsed. She'd just realized that no matter what he was saying or how he'd behaved before 'her Daniel' loved her.

Daniel was going on and on about Mackenzie telling Daniel about not forcing himself on her, letting her regain her memory on her own without his trying to influence her, protecting her, backing off, not being selfish …

Vala stood up and forcibly grabbed Daniel by the collar. "Now that I have your attention darling" She stood on her toes and surprised Daniel by kissing him on his nose.

"You should have told me you loved me that first night …."

Daniel interrupted her. "But I did! I told you how I felt!"

"You're an ass, Daniel. Trust me you never said I love you. You told me how you missed me that you couldn't live without me that I wasn't allowed to ever leave you again. But never 'I love you.'"

"Why the hell did you think I was saying all that?"

"Even men like you have been known to say just about anything to get a woman in bed, but I knew you'd never say you loved me unless you meant it!"

"Vala, are you telling me you didn't know I was in love with you that night? I certainly thought that you were in love with me!"

"Darling, I did. At least I did until you got up and slunk out of my room muttering about what an idiot you'd been. And the next morning you completely ignored me, you wouldn't even look at me. What was I supposed to think?" Vala still had a tight hold of Daniel's shirt and started nibbling on his ear and then kissed him on the nose again.

Daniel started to defend himself but settled for asking her. "So now we both know that I love you, the question is do you love me?" Vala ignored him and let go of his collar in order to put her arms around his neck. Daniel pulled his head back and asked again. "Do you love me?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." Vala ended her sentence by sticking her tongue out at Daniel.

"That's all you're going to say to me? Are you kidding?"

Vala answered him with a seductive pout. He picked her up and carried her to the conference room table. Daniel's last words before he laid her down were "It's a good thing I locked the door."

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They were on the conference room floor in a sweaty heap on top of their clothes. Daniel was sure Vala was asleep until she opened her eyes and smiled. Already holding her in his arms Daniel pulled her closer to him and kissed her lightly.

She whispered something but he couldn't quite hear her, so he leaned closer expecting to hear vows of undying love. But what he heard was "Food! Daniel I need food. Not that the sex wasn't great darling. But you have to keep your priorities straight."

"You think you're funny don't you?"

Nodding, she replied. "Yes." He helped her up and began dividing up the clothes. Picking hers up between his thumb and forefinger Daniel used the other hand to hold his nose laughing while he handed Vala the filthy work pants and shirt. "I guess the magic's gone. No more Victoria's Secret. I think I just slept with the stable boy."

From the look on her face she didn't understand what he meant but smiled anyway and kissed him as she gave him his glasses. "Shower darling, then food." Vala pulled on the pants in question and then her shirt. Balling up her underwear she shoved it into her pocket. Carrying her boots by the laces Vala unlocked the door, cracked it open and looked up and down the hallway. "The coast is clear. See ya in the Commissary." Vala slipped through the doorway and almost ran down the hall towards her quarters.

Daniel got completely dressed before leaving. For a minute he'd been worried that Vala had left so quickly after checking the hall because she thought he didn't want them to be seen together. But then he realized that she didn't want to run into anyone who might slow her down. Taking the time to shower before getting something to eat would be bad enough but having to waste time chit chatting in the hall would kill her. Getting between Vala and food could be dangerous on a good day.

_**THE END**_

_**I know the rescue was off camera with no details provided, but I was more interested in what happened between Vala and Daniel once she returned. I just needed a device to get her home and I wanted it to show that people liked her enough to cross Grunn for her. I didn't want Daniel to have to think she might be dead for very long, I wanted him to know she was okay pretty much as soon as they finished reading Vala's report. **_


End file.
